you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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