dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
