He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
