You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
