Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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