I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
