the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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