So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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