Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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