If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Couch. On fire.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
