Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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