There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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