I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
