theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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