Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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