Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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