is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
