i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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