btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
