dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize