I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
