All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my being single is dangerous.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
