they need to just BURY HIM!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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