Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
