I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
