We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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