did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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