hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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