he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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