And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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