i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
