coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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