sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
