THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
