Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
