'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
