I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
