i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
