help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
