She announced her abortion via fbk
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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