So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
