Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize