please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My dick has a subreddit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
