Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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