I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
