I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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