the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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