her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
