yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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