drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
