my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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