seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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