Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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