Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
