I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
