fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So much rum. So many feels.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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