so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
