Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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