:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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