It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
