I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
