My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
