We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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