the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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