Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she pinky promised me she was 18
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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