he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
