): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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