i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
