Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sober January is a disaster.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
