We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
